4/7/11

An Open Letter to My Love on our Tenth Anniversary

Just the other day, I was given a gift. It was the gift of you, my darling husband. I call you my gift because I can remember night after night, laying in my bed, praying for you. I didn’t know who I was praying for, of course, but I knew that God knew (and ultimately, our story is HIS STORY)!

You know, back then, I had such a “Hollywood” picture in my head of romance and marriage. That description, that view, was the one I always thought of as perfect. But now…now “perfect” is completely different in my mind. “Perfect” IS us…not that our marriage is the ultimate marriage on the planet, because we both know it isn’t…but perfect as in, “God sure knew what He was doing and I wouldn’t have it any other way!” Perfect for me….for us… that’s what I’m getting at!

In ten years, we have been through a ton, and what I love about both of us is that we are fighters. We have fought our way through some very tough times. We have hit our knees together to hold on to what we have. We have dug in our heels and done some hard work. And the payoff is what I see in our marriage today. You…this…has been worth sticking in there!! God has blessed us more than we could possibly have imagined!

Today, on this tenth anniversary, I just want to let you know how amazingly thankful I am that God gave me you! There’s a multitude of things I appreciate about you and I don’t want you to ever think that I don’t notice all the hundreds of ways you sacrifice yourself to take such wonderful care of me and the girls. You know I’m a list-maker, so it’s only natural that I make a list. I love you, for all the things listed below, and for soooooo much more!!!  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY!!!! As you said in church on Sunday, I look forward to the next sixty more;)

Things I love about you (in no particular order):
That you are yielded to the Lord
That you love me unconditionally
That you are an amazing dad
That you load the dishes a lot because you know it’s the chore I most hate
That you don’t let me carry suitcases because you know it will hurt my back
That you put up with my injury and all that it involves
That you took such great care of me when I was physically at my worst 
That you can cook really delicious food (lucky chubby me!)
That you put up with my “stopping to smell the roses” attitude
That you get something on your mind and you have to do it, right then!
That you throw yourself wholeheartedly into everything you do
That you are the most non-judgmental person I know
That you can “see” people for who they are, not what they say (perceptive)
That you notice things no one else does (like the little girl who lost her mommy at the mall)
That you are willing to give anybody a second chance
That you are a Southern gentleman who knows how to treat a lady
That you don’t hold grudges
That you take pride in your family
That you can make me laugh at myself and life in general
That sometimes when I pick up the phone, you still say, “Hey Beautiful!”
That when we are apart, I still know you are thinking about me cause you send me little text messages
That you don’t complain about having to do all the big grocery shopping cause I can’t (heavy carts with sticking wheels!)
That you buy me Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, Dr. Pepper, and Nutella cause you know they are my addictions
That you give me lots and lots of hugs
That you bought me a camo baseball cap
That you take me hunting with you
That you get so excited when I go hunting with you (like a kid at Christmas)
That you treat each of our girls like a princess
That you turn to mush with each of them
That you don’t complain…ever…when you are called out in the middle of the night, early morning, at supper, or anytime to go and help someone in need
That you would give someone the shirt off of your back if they needed it
That you love a good deal and you are frugal
That you are a leader
That you don’t shy away from preaching the Word (and stepping on a few toes for the glory of God!)
That you hunger for more of God
That you are yearning to do His will, even if it’s a hard path to follow at times
That you are an encourager
That you go along with some of my silly ideas just to make me happy
That you are a giver
That you sometimes have a weird sense of humor
That you love to laugh and have a good time
That you are such a true friend to others
That you keep me on my toes
That you help me in my unending quest to make it on time
That you know how to make the girls’ start laughing in the middle of a crying fit (and ok, I admit it, you’ve done that for me once or twice too)
That you always remember my birthday
That you give good advice
That you take time out for your family
That you go out of your way to make “us” work
That you are a good listener (let me repeat, “That you are a good lis-ten-er!”…hahaha!)
That you sing silly stuff all the time
That you are cute when you are ornery and tired (most of the time)
That you sometimes keep the kids so I can go shopping alone
That you are honorable
That you let God speak through you
That you tell me you love me all the time
That you would fight for your family, or die for us, if that’s what had to happen
That you asked me to marry you!!!!

I love you,

4/4/11

How I Met My Husband

Just the other day, or more like ten years ago this week, I married the "one" for me and this is how we met...

My older sister had just moved to a new place and decided to join an online group for stay-at-home mom's in her area. At a play date where all of the mothers met in person, she and another lady (who is now my sister in law) started discussing their siblings. They figured out that D and I might be a good match and exchanged our pictures. That night I got a call from my sister, asking if I would consider getting to know this guy. I had just come out of a God-inspired six month "fast" from dating and was not looking for anything (in other words, I was very content). Also, the last blind date I had been on was terrible, so I was in no mood to go on another one. I told her these exact words, "You can give him my email address, but I'm not making any special trips to meet this guy" (he lived two hours away). Well, that night I received my first email from D (his sis had gone straight over to show him my pic/tell him about me) and as they say...the rest is history! We emailed daily for about two weeks, and then I decided to let him call me. After talking on the phone for about a week, we decided to actually meet in person.

Our first date was on Feb 11, 2000. We met in the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel about an hour from me because it was the half-way point. I remember him getting out of his SUV, lookin' all cute in a blue collared shirt and khaki pants (insert smile). It was a good first impression (although I had seen his pic that my sis had sent me through snail-mail). He opened the car door for me to get in. He asked me the same question twice in just a few minutes, so I could tell he was nervous, but I thought it was just adorable. He was really trying! We drove to a larger city nearer to where he lived and decided to eat at Joe's Crab Shack. I had suggested it, but with a motive. I thought that if we had absolutely nothing to talk about I could try to start a conversation based on some of the crazy stuff they usually have displayed in those restaurants (lame, I know)! I don't remember much about the restaurant, but I do remember that we signed our names right beside our booth. (Why would we do that if we didn't think something "special" was going on?! Hmmmmm.)

After we ate, D took me ice skating. He was the Minister of Students at a church and had recently taken some children there for an outing, so he thought it would be fun. It was! We skated around and talked for the longest time. My favorite part of this story happened at that skating rink. For some reason, D made the remark that he never fell when he was skating. I promise you not thirty seconds later, he fell down for no apparent reason!!! Oh my soul, looking back that is so funny!!!! Don't worry, nothing was hurt but his pride (insert smile with a wink).

We ended the night at a coffee shop where neither one of us drank coffee, but we just got some dessert and talked some more. The "it" moment for me, the moment that got me hooked (ok, besides some pretty good flirting), was on the drive back to my car as the night was coming to a close. We got into a really deep conversation (remember we had already been "talking" for a few weeks through email and on the phone) about what we wanted life to look like for us...as individuals, mind you...in the future. I remember D saying something like "Sure, I want children and I will love my children, no doubt...but whoever my wife is....ultimately, I will CHOOSE her. I want to love her first and put her first, before the kids, because I chose her and I will choose to love her for the rest of my life. Each night, when my kids go to bed, I just want to enjoy hanging out with my wife. I always want her to know that she is special." Now, that may not sound amazingly romantic to anyone else, but to me at that time, he painted a picture that I wanted to be in!  He kinda was also saying (in not so many words), "I know what I want and I'm not playing games here" which was good to know, cause I was DONE playing games (can I get an AMEN from all my sista's who are still "in waiting" out there?! There's hope...hang in there!).  Well, to try and make this long story shorter, guess what?! He chose me and he still chooses me and I am living in the picture he painted that night.........how sweet it is:)

I literally felt like I drove that hour back to my home on a cloud. I am not kidding you, it just felt like I floated home (I know, "gag me"...but it's true). I just remember praying and smiling and thinking about the night and praying and smiling and........floating.

And that's the story of how we met.

Now you know:)

P.s. I ended up making LOTS and LOTS of "special trips" just to see "that guy". We lived two hours apart, but we ended up seeing each other every weekend for the next 14 months (except for one when he went on a ten day mission trip).

4/2/11

No More Bad Cop

Just the other day, we were riding down the highway and a cop pulled out in front of us. What do you imagine everyone did? Do you even have to imagine it, cause you know immediately what everyone did, don't you?! Yep, they all slowed down! Brake lights flashed all over the place! Even if you have your cruise control set on a reasonable speed, when you see a cop, don't you immediately "check" yourself?! I know I do!

Right after that happened, I was looking out the window at the trees rushing by and I had this thought, "That's what you feel like people do when you show up, isn't it?"

What? Wait.....ohhh..........YES!!!!!! That's it, Lord!!!! That's exactly what I feel like!!!!!!!

You see, I very conveniently haven't mentioned it before now, but my husband is a pastor. I'm HAPPY that he is and he is amazingly used by God, but me, well...........I just don't like being "the pastor's wife" for the very reason I mentioned above! People change when they get around me. They treat me like I'm the cop on the highway. They are happy I'm there, glad to see me "doing my job", but they don't want me paying attention to them really. They are content to acknowledge me, to say a courteous "hi", but they don't want me hanging around long enough to get in their business....not "the preacher's wife"! And, just keeping this very real here, for a long time I have let this confuse me to no end. For WAY too long, I have analyzed myself and looked inward and wrestled with thoughts of "what is wrong with me?" and "why do I have such a hard time having any real relationships when it used to be sooooo easy for me to get close to others?". It's an exhausting dialogue I have been having, let me tell you!

Anyways, to bring this around to my real point, I think God showed me this very thing so that I could finally understand people. Oh, His ways of dealing with us are just so perfect, aren't they?! I don't know that I would have ever understood it any other way. But now, I see! I understand! Seriously y'all, listen to this - I was just pulled over by a cop a couple of weeks ago and I can guarantee you now that God had something to do with that. I was given MUCH GRACE by a person who I thought was so scary, by someone I was terrified of...I just knew he was going to write me a ticket, but he didn't! Not only did he not do what I expected, he did what I least expected and went out of his way to help me get where I needed to go in an unfamiliar area. OK....are you getting it?! (cause I sure am!...let it sink in!) Yep, I need to be doing that very same thing! I need to literally quit being what people expect............to ruin their preconceived ideas and just let Him flow out of me in the ways He created, because He made me who I am for a reason...........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, FREEDOM!!!! (as the Hallelujah chorus plays in the background, of course)

Why do I need to change? Because the real me doesn't let people push me away (or doesn't want to anyhow). The real me pursues and tries to build a relationship. The real me is loyal to a fault and once you are my friend, I consider you a friend for life!!! And the real me is so very, very tired of not getting to be the real me:(

So, here's to the new pastor's wife who will not stand by and be treated like the bad cop any longer, like it or not. Please pray for me as I try to undo nearly four years (or honestly, more like 10 yrs!) of feeling like a fish out of water. I'm warning you now, this might not be pretty! And then again, maybe it will be:)

NOTE: This is certainly NOT how I have felt about every relationship! Please give me some grace in this :)