What is in a Name?

Just the other day, I was lying in bed thinking about stuff (cause that's what I do) and I was trying to decide what I would "name" my girls if I had to choose a particular characteristic or description. I was thinking about it because S had found an old name book and she was so bummed that her name didn't really have a meaning. Anyways, here's what I came up with:

My oldest would be something like "discovery" because of her insatiable desire to learn, and "creativity" because she draws/builds/constructs some of the most elaborate things I have ever seen from a child her age. Her God-given abilities are amazing! She is constantly either reading/learning or creating. Case in point: at her birthday party this year, we bought her some new books. The child actually asked to read her new book in the middle of her party! What kid does that?! She's gonna change the world.

My middle child would be named "passion" and "heart". She just loves life and she lives life to the full every single day. She is almost always smiling and if she does get down, she doesn't stay down for long! She also just cares very deeply about others...she loves to give love and be loved. She's one of those people that you are drawn to for no particular reason. She lights up a room just by being in it.

My baby is still, well, a baby, so she's a little difficult to figure out. I think her actual name probably fits her very well cause I'd just say she's "joy" mixed with a little "head strong"...ha! She already just loves making other people happy. If she finds something you love, she'll do it over and over. She has danced since the time she could pull up and hold onto anything. She's a happy girl, until there is something she wants and then...you better watch out! I just know that "head strongness" (yes, I am making up words) will come in handy one day:) I can't wait to see more of her personality emerge.

My children are sooooo much more than these brief descriptions, so don't think these are a life label or anything. Children are treasures to be discovered moment-by-moment and day-by-day. I know that my kids are on a journey just like me. They will grow, they will change, and they will become all that God wants them to be. I'm so thankful that all three are each so different and so unique! I am so priviledged to get to be their mommy!!! The Lord has entrusted me with some of His richest blessings (which is exciting and sobering all at the same time).

Getting Over Myself

Just the other day, I started a blog. I was excited about it. Really, I was. I was super excited. Then, I got a phone call from work and was asked to take on a majorly huge project. Majorly huge projects plus homeschooling plus three kids plus being a wife plus you-name-it and well, I kinda got overwhelmed:( This blog went on the back, back burner. In the meantime, I searched around on other blogs. You know what? There are some ah-mazing blogs out there!!! My goodness! And then I started feeling like, "What do I have to say that's so important?" Seriously. Then, there it was...that still small voice. It said, "Would it be worth it to you to help just ONE?" Well, when it was put that way(!), I felt overwhelmingly humbled. In that moment, my focus came back and I realized once again...THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME!!! It really IS about living a life out loud for Christ! It's about how HE has worked and is continuing to work in my life and my hope is that God will use it to help any "ONE" that may stumble across this teensy-tiny corner of the blogosphere. I SO can not get caught up in comparing myself to others! I refuse! So, I'm back:) My goal is to be much less "anal" about this whole thing. I'm going to write and publish and write and publish and write and just see where it goes...grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and all. It's actually really refreshing to not be so uptight.

Daring to Believe

Just the other day I was eating lunch with my children and all of a sudden one of them asked me, “Mommy, what’s your dream?” Of course this took me by surprise. That’s a weird, deep question to be asking. I’m accustomed to silliness at the table and at least once having to remind them, “No potty-talk!” I was unprepared for this what’s-my-dream-stuff.  I just kind of shrugged it off and said, “I don’t really have a dream, baby.” But, then she persisted...”Mommy, what’s your dream?” Goodness, she’s not going to accept a non-answer.  I just thought a minute and said, “I’m living my dream.” She looked at me and smiled, pacified for the moment (and I wiped the sweat from my brow in relief).

 

Suddenly, she started in on her dream. To say she loves to read American Girl books is somewhat of an understatement. She literally gets up in the morning and goes straight to get one of them, even though she has read it before a zillion times. Her dream, she says, is to have an American Girl series patterned after her life! Wow!! Now, there’s a good dream.

It was at this point that I kind of started getting it.

Next, my four year old piped up. Little blondie, who loves rainbows and colors just as much as her big sister loves to read says, “I want to build my own rainbow rollercoaster that ends in a cloud and goes over a big castle just like the one at Disney World.” 

As my kids would say, now I “super-duper” got it and it made sense. The lightbulb came on. WHAT’S MY DREAM???? What is it that might be so impossible that I only let myself “go there” every now and then? Or, to put it in other words, what is my deep heart’s desire? What am I hoping for (but possibly scared to really ask God for)?

 I sat there, GETTING it, and my big girl knew it.  Oh, please, please, don’t…………

"Mommy, tell me your dream." 

Man! She did it. She asked me again! I was already fighting back the tears. 

“I DO have one of those dreams, but I can’t tell you about it right now.” She saw that I was crying and that it obviously meant something to me, so she matter-of-factly went on about her business and that was the end of it…for her. 

For me, it has been a completely different story.

Please don’t think I am being flippant when I say this, but it’s the only way I know to convey my feelings. Here it goes: In that moment, I simply wanted to look up at God and say, “REALLY??!?! Again?!?!” in a very sarcastic tone. Why? Well, because He is up to something, that’s why and He’s trying to get me to believe Him for MORE.

How do I know this? Simply because everywhere I go and every time I turn around, someone says something or does something that completely pertains to this DREAM of mine. And each time it happens, it’s like He is fanning the flame of my desire and stirring up hope. He is even using my own daughters…both of them…in different things they say. Seriously, He is up to something!!! And as much as I LOVE that He is so detailed and I harp on life being a grand adventure when Jesus Christ is LORD of your life, I have to be frank… believing for a hope that is so dear to me is HARD WORK! It’s difficult. And, you must understand, my dream (in my mind) is HUGE.

There is a certain verse the Lord “high-lighted” in my life back in 2009. That verse is Ephesians 3: 20-21. I love how the “Amplified Version” explains it...

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).

Around the time God brought this verse up in my life, I was believing Him to answer my “big” dream: the dream of having just one more child. I thought the situation was impossible. But, of course “impossible” is not even in God’s vocabulary.  Seriously, as soon as He removed a certain hinderance (for lack of a better word), I got pregnant about as fast as you can blink (okay, maybe not that fast, but you know what I’m saying).  I was AMAZED and astounded at how fast He moved! And, you know what, I guess I thought that was it! I was satisfied that He had done moooore than I could have dreamed.  It sounds silly, but our baby is a miracle and now I have 3 wonderful little miracle-princesses and feel so immensely blessed and life is good and…….. then…...

THAT SAME VERSE showed up again! It came up first at a conference I went to with my husband. It came up again at my women’s Bible study during the latter part of last year. Then this month, it came up AGAIN in our study. Our speaker (Priscilla Shirer - through DVD), picked this verse apart and basically talked about how God able (He is oh-so-able!) to go “way past” whatever our seemingly impossible dreams may be. He goes “beyond” whatever you think is already beyond your wildest imagination. So I’m basically getting the idea that God is saying to me, “You thought that was something, your last dream. Baby girl, I see that other NEW dream that is brewing. I know the desires of your heart; I place them there. I know in your eyes it is impossible. But, I’m about to show you that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with me. I am the God who does exceedingly immeasurably beyond.” Yep, that’s what I think He is saying to me...and it is scaring the pants off of me, in the best way possible!!!

So, now all I can do is wait expectantly. In His time and His own way, He IS going to make my dream a reality. I just know it. Why? Because whenever I get content with Him and think He’s done it all, He takes great pleasure in blowing my wimpy expectations out of the water. So I’m just going to sit back and let Him make a spectacle of Himself (please do, Lord!). TO HIM BE THE GLORY!!! Y’all just stay tuned and wait with me. When this dream becomes a reality, I’ll post a hallelujah blog!!

 

Here are just a few more verses on HOPE:

But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. Psalm 71:14

But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure. Romans 8:25


For His glory,