God Sent Us Dolphins

Just the other day...a much smaller version of myself sat across from my dad at the local Wendy's restaurant in our small town. I was probably about 10 or 11 years old. It was a Sunday night tradition to eat one of two places after church, there or at the Dairy Queen just down the street. Our topic of conversation was not pleasant, it was painful, in fact. I vividly recall questioning something I had heard in the sermon that night and remember my sweet daddy trying to set my incorrect thinking straight...

His words went something like this, "You misunderstood. God is not vindictive or angry, Becky. He is not waiting for you to mess up so He can squash you or point a finger at you and say, 'I told you so!'...He loves you so much and has good things planned for you."

Those are words that have played over and over in my head for years. When I remember that conversation, it's almost like I'm an outsider looking in. I can see it, feel it...smell it even. I remember the intense eagerness to believe it with all of my heart, that night and many nights since.

It has been a fight my entire life to believe that there is grace for me, that God is "okay" with me messing up and making mistakes. Not only that, but I've had a hard time believing in His goodness...that He is just good to me, well, because it's His character and He simply wants to be! I fight the false thinking that I have to work for every reward and be good enough to avoid His anger. If you could listen in on my thoughts, they might sound like this -- "Am I doing enough for you, God? Am I disappointing You? You must really hate it when I ______ or _______. I'm so sorry I'm not living up to all I should be. I wish I could do better, BE better, blah, blah, blah." The rhetoric sometimes goes on and on.

On a recent day at the beach, much of the same conversation with God took place. We had taken an early vacation just before the craziness of our much-too-packed summer began. I was walking down the boardwalk, having similar thoughts, wanting so much to please God but not knowing how to do so...wanting to feel worthy of His love, I guess. And, just as He always does, God sweetly began reassuring me and loving on me and telling me over and over about His goodness. He began to tear down my excuses (see above list). He let me know that He delighted in showering me with good things, just because, and that every fear that I had was unfounded and NOT of Him.

And then He did something absolutely spectacular to prove His point.

We had heard that this particular beach was known for having dolphins nearby, and if you know anything about my middle child, you know she is mildly obsessed with the creatures. Well, this was the last day of our vacation and we still had not seen any, though we had looked and looked. The night before, I had quickly prayed, "God, will you please let Kylee see a dolphin before we leave?"

So there I was, walking along listening to God remind me about His goodness and by this point we had reached the beach. My husband and kids were still walking towards the water and I stopped, glanced out at the waves, and immediately my eyes fell on two dorsal fins gracefully breaking the surface.

NO WAY, I thought!

I quickly pointed and yelled for my family to look. Within minutes, they saw them, too. They excitedly ran along the water's edge, trying to get a closer look. Very soon it became apparent...there were not just two dolphins, but SIX!!

I jumped up and down, laughing out loud like a kid at Christmas, so very excited!! There was hardly anyone else on the beach. It was an absolutely gorgeous day. The sky was bright blue with fluffy white clouds. The water sparkled all around the majestic creatures passing us by. It was picture-perfect, like a scene right out of a movie!

The intensity of that moment hit me like a ton of bricks.

In utter awe of my God I stood there and let His goodness overwhelm me, like waves crashing over my soul, as He brought my request to mind. I did not just let a single tear roll down my cheek. No. I sobbed like a baby on that beach, overcome with the awesomeness of Him. Who am I, that the Creator would command His dolphins to come, just because I very quickly requested them the night before? More importantly, what does that say about the heart of the One who cares so deeply about each one of us?!

In that moment, it is as if God simply wanted to give me a tangible, in real life, picture of His of GOODNESS. It didn't come because I had labored in hours of prayer, nor because I had given all my wealth to the poor. It didn't come because I had been a perfect wife and mother that day, nor because I had a global ministry reaching thousands. It didn't come because I teach an Sunday School class, tithe faithfully, or share the gospel message with 25 people per week.

No.

That moment came because God cared that I was struggling a bit with doubts about His character. Again. For the bazillionth time in my 37 years on this earth, even though I know the truth. And He didn't roll His eyes and say, "Here we go again" either.

He said, "My daughter is hurting and I'm going to fix it."

And He did.

Because that's what Fathers do.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23


Linking up at:
Missional Women

Notes from Dad

I went to Belk a few days ago to purchase some new products at the makeup counter. Remembering the gift card I had received from my dad at Christmas, I handed it to the cashier.

"Oh, Ma'am...I'm sorry" I said, "but could I please have the outer card back. There's a note on it from my dad that I really wanted to keep."

She obliged and I safely tucked the treasure back into my purse. I felt a little silly asking for the note back - - but had she refused, I might have jumped the counter to get it!

Click here to continue reading...

For His glory,

Messy + Weak = Qualified???

Just the other day...I started changing and the Almighty took note. In my heart, I became serious about being a vessel for Him.

The Word says:

"For the eyes of Yahweh roam throughout the earth to show Himself strong for those whose hearts are completely His." 2 Chron 16:9a HCSB

"God, My Will and Not Yours"

Just the other day...I sat praying, begging even, for God to give me something that I just knew was going to make my life amazing. It was certainly what He wanted me to have ("wink") because of the way little details kept falling into place...so, it just had to be a "of Him", right?!

Ah, how easily we allow ourselves to be tricked when we are blinded by our own desires!

I was praying for something that was out of His will for my life. I was dead set that He would answer my prayer just the way I wanted, though and determined that I would "just pray hard enough". And while God kept nudging me to move on, I kept going back to MY plan like a gazelle so full of thirst, it foolishly drinks out of a pond teeming with crocodiles.

Looking back, I can admire one thing alone, my tenacity to go to God with my request again and again and again. Tenacity in prayer and seeing a 'result' through eyes of faith is a WONDERFUL thing and is something the Bible clearly teaches. But continuing to pray for something when it is against the will of God...that just keeps you stuck. Like, really stuck.

In my pride, I basically said to God, "I trust MY will, and not Your will."

Ouch.

Sounds a lot like the nation of Israel, right?! Stuck in the dessert. Going in circles. Unwilling to trust and surrender.

I stayed there for a while. Stuck. Wandering. Wasting time. Gaining lots of head knowledge, but not applying it to my life. I kept walls up, against God, as I insisted in going my own way.

Yeeeaaars later (that's a long time, people)...I finally got it. I let go. I surrendered. I obeyed. I finally said, "Not my way. Your way. Please God...I'm sick of being stuck".

And can you guess what happened next?

The dam broke. Life flowed...abundantly. His plan and His way engulfed my very small life. Imagine standing in a river at the bottom of a mountain in the middle of a monsoon...you WILL get swept away!

"...but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matt 16:25

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Later on, even years after I surrendered and the "dam broke", my full-of-mercy God graciously showed me why He said no to my prayer. He doesn't always show us why. He doesn't need to show us why. In this case, I certainly didn't ask Him. But sometimes Daddies like to surprise us with gifts...especially the kind that teach us to walk in even greater freedom.

The night He showed me why my prayers went unanswered was powerful, to say the least. Life-changing. I ended up oozing tears as the truth washed over me and set me free and proved to me what I already knew but can stand to learn over and over...

My God is SOVEREIGN.

Those years I wasted, thinking He was withholding from me...

He was really just loving me.

Because that's what fathers do.

___________

You can trust the Father.

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." Prov 19:21

For His glory,

Unexpected Adventures

Today, I had a fun outing planned for the girls. We are in a large city at the moment since "the king" (of our little castle) had to travel for some meetings. Right down the road from our hotel, there is a museum just for children...ya know, the kind with lots of hands-on activities and really cool exhibits for kids to explore. I had shown the kids pictures of the museum on the internet, talked about it all morning, told them how much fun it was going to be, and gotten them really excited. Being the well-intentioned-but-often-scatterbrained mom that I am, I did not notice one very important fact.

The museum is closed on Mondays.

There were plenty of cars in the parking lot. We unloaded and went straight inside, however we were greeted by a kind young lady telling us they were only open for a photo shoot. Great.

I know all of our faces must have screamed "disappointment" by the way she kept spouting off, "I'm so sorry." I was thinking, "You're sorry?! What about me? My poor kids." I hate letting them down.

Stick with me cause it's about to get really good....

As we walked out, I noticed the humongous state museum across the parking lot. Hmmmm. What if we went there? At this point, it was my only hope. After apologizing to the girls, I started telling them MAYBE we could go to the big museum if it didn't cost too much. I said, "Why don't we just go over and check it out?" They very reluctantly agreed.

As we were walking up, I noticed a ton of steps that I certainly could not drag the stroller up, so I asked a young couple coming down them about the museum and the prices. They were very sweet to tell us all we needed to know, except they weren't quite sure about the price of admission. I thanked them and then the girls and I proceeded to find some kind of ramp so that I could push the stroller up to the building.

On our way up the ramp, I kept talking about our day and began telling the girls, "You know, God just might have another adventure in store for us today. In the Bible, we are told that a Christian's steps are ordered by the Lord...so we'll just have to see what He brings." As we finished that conversation we were just getting ready to enter the building when the young man I had spoken to on the steps reached us. He was out of breath from running, but proceeded to hand us four tickets to get into the museum FOR FREE. He said, "I don't know if you'll need all four tickets since you have the baby, but take it too, just in case." We were amazed at such generosity!!! We thanked him profusely as he ran back out the door and yelled "God bless you" after him.

My oldest looked at me with her eyes as big as saucers and said, "Mommy, you were just saying to wait and see what God would do and then that man gave us tickets to get in free!" My heart nearly burst open with joy!

ISN'T GOD GOOD?!

I just love that He cares about all the little details of our lives. Don't you?!?!  The fact that He provided my girls with such a great object lesson thrills me to no end! I expect Him, my Father, to take care of me and I long for my children to grow up expecting nothing less. It's true...as His children, we can and should take Him at His word!

Well, needless to say, we ended up having the most wonderful time in the "big" museum, which really was massive and way more than we could see in one trip. What made it even more exciting was the fact that in nearly every room, we saw things that we had studied in homeschool either this year or last year. Wow, it just brought all that learning "home", especially for my oldest daughter.  What a tremendous blessing!!!

Now, can I just brag on God one more time?

As we were going out the door, I asked one of the workers about a good place to eat but she said she didn't live in the area. Another woman overheard me, stopped me going out the door, and told me just to follow her...she would take me to a wonderful place that the kids and I could eat at, right up the road. She literally sat in her car and waited on us to walk all the way to our car that was still in the other parking lot (at the first museum), then she patiently led us to the restaurant, weaving in and out of five o'clock traffic. Amazing.

When I talk about being a daughter of God, I mean it. See, what my Father knows about me is this: I get apprehensive in unfamiliar places and getting out today with my kids was a pretty big deal. I didn't tell anyone that. I didn't say to my kids, "This makes mommy so nervous." I prayed. I trusted. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and got us out the door because I'm sick of fear. Fear, as a daughter, as a child of the Almighty, should have NO PLACE in my life...

and I've let it have a "place" for

way

too

long.

____________


*Linking up at Joy in this Journey, Raising Homemakers, and Beholding Glory

For His glory,  

Build Up or Tear Down?

Tale of Two Households

"I got two A's," the small boy said.

His voice was filled with glee.

His father very bluntly asked,

"Why didn't you get three?"

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"

The girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said,

"Did you sweep the floor?"

"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said, 

"And put the mower away."

His father asked him with a shrug,

"Did you clean off the clay?"

The children in the house next door

Seemed happy and content.

The same things happened over there,

But this is how it went.

"I got two A's," the small boy said.

His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, "That's great;

I'm glad you belong to me."

"Mom, I got the dishes done,"

The girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said, 

"Each day I love you more."

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said.

"And put the mower away."

His father answered with much joy, 

"You've made my happy day!"

Children deserve just simple praise

For the tasks they're asked to do.

If they're to lead a happy life, 

So much depends on you.

~Author Unknown

____________

You can use your words to build up or tear down. 

Choose wisely.

For His glory,

"I Forgive You" by Bob Hamp

Just the other day...tears ran down my face as I read this piece by author, Bob Hamp. I think you'll see why. May the Lord draw you closer to Him as you read these words.

----------------------------------------------------------

She hung her head a little bit lower as she walked by the pastor’s house. It didn’t happen often, but she hated when they were both out at the same time. He looked at her with such contempt.  Even though this night was different, the street was familiar, and the sting of shame still tried to rise in her in these familiar places.

Only two nights prior she had walked down this very street, on her way to turn the next trick in her ongoing life of shame. The contempt in the eyes of the pastor had been nothing compared to the way she looked at herself each day. Not only is this not how she had thought her life would turn out, she had once looked scornfully at the kind of women she now found herself to be. And two nights ago she walked this very street in what seemed like a never-ending, this-is-all-life-held walk of shame. He was right where he said he would be. He treated her just like she knew he would. He looked at her just like every other man did. Amazingly, that night she had thought was the next in a never-ending life turned out to be the last time ever, as her life changed completely the very next day.

As she walked down the street this time, her mind drifted back to the events of the last forty-eight hours. She had awoken the next morning with a familiar numbness spreading through her soul. Her mind was going through an automatic process of deleting images from the night before. His breath, and his ugly words, the way he had touched her all left marks on her soul and she was running through her familiar process of separating from herself.  It seemed to at least help her self-repulsion if she began to reject the part of her that had just betrayed her. She didn’t even realize that the way she abandoned that part of her was exactly the way her father had once abandoned her. Nevertheless she went through the process.

As she slipped out of the house that morning, as always, hoping to avoid any human contact, she made her way towards the market. She had learned to avoid eye contact, whether walking through town or turning a trick. It seemed that the one thing she could not separate herself from was the mark that came from seeing the scorn and contempt in the eyes of the other.  It was almost as if their gaze could somehow inject into her the very scorn they were sending her way. Seeing the eyes of the other seemed to connect their hatred to the hatred she felt for herself. So she just didn’t look up.

She had washed her body, and was mentally washing her soul, when she bumped into a stranger. Rather than move aside, he stood squarely in her path, almost as if blocking her way. Dread began to rise in her. Some customers were violent and the agressiveness was evident almost right away. Was this man trying to make his move, right now, so early?

“Excuse me sir,” she said softly, hoping to just keep moving and avoid an early start to her misery.

“I’m sorry,” said a voice.

Something started in her at the sound of his voice. The voice was very strong, and yet, clearly not aggressive. Even in the clarity and firmness of this voice she heard gentleness. And something else.

Eyes still down, she breathed softly, “I didn’t see you there, please forgive me.”

She hoped to sidestep the stranger and keep moving on her way. But he didn’t budge.

“I forgive you.” He said.

The words struck her like a bolt of liquid lightning. It was almost as if the words themselves had substance, and they washed over her with a surprising sense of physical power. Combining a man’s voice (no, this man’s voice)  with these words, which she had never heard spoken to her before, she felt her body go weak, and her mind suddenly turn. In this surprising moment she broke her number one rule. She looked up and saw His eyes.

For a second, regret began to well up, but when her eyes fell on His for a moment, she suddenly became much less aware of herself, and much more aware of Him. He was looking at her. Not just looking in her direction, He was looking right at her. He wasn’t looking at her breasts, he wasn’t looking at her body, or even really, her face. He was looking at her. Perhaps even looking right through her. His eyes were piercing, and not in a steely, I-am-better-than-you sort of way, but in a I-see-who-you-really-are sort of way.

She felt the urge to protect herself rise up almost uncontrollably. Not because He seemed to be dangerous, but because He seemed to see who she was. This made her overwhelmingly aware of who she thought she was. Many of the pictures she had so dutifully erased from her mind flooded back into her consciousness. As He looked intently into her eyes she wanted to hide. She wanted to hide from Him, and she wanted to hide from herself. Somehow, in the face of His steady gaze, her ability to hide just seemed paralyzed. She could not hide from Him, and she knew it. In fact her ability to hide seemed to have disappeared. She felt naked.
As she gave up on her attempt to run into the dark chambers of her soul she became aware of something else. She became aware that even though it seemed He could see right through her, He wasn’t ashamed and He wasn’t disgusted. In fact He seemed to…He seemed, (no surely not) He seemed…He seemed to be fond of her.

This was not a look she had ever seen before in anyone’s eyes. This was not the pseudo-affection her customers put on before they made their offer. This was not the look of the shopkeepers when she pulled out her money to pay for her purchase. This wasn’t even the look of the one friend she had once had, who seemed to understand her. This look injected into her something she had never felt. Wait, something she had never known. When He looked at her she felt valued.

Then He spoke again.

He began to tell her about herself. He spoke gently and sorrowfully about the family she had been born into. (How could He know these things?). He spoke with great compassion about how this family had disintegrated when her dad abandoned them. He spoke about what she had thought were secret moments, when she had been alone begging God to step into her life and help in some way. He unfolded to her a life story, her life story, as if He had been present in each of the moments He described. His words, still like a tangible force, washed over her with power and with love and with compassion.

Even as He came to her present life, He told her of how she had turned to a life of prostitution, out of fear and mounting hopelessness. Without shame, and without condemnation, He described to her exactly how she ended up where she was. And then He said it to her. She had heard the words before, but they were always empty and fraught with selfishness and expectation. He told her He loved her.

The words were like a warm flood. Even her parents had not been able to say these words to her. But it wasn’t just the words. It was the Man, it was His presence, it was His voice, and it was His eyes. His eyes. They just stared right into her and she knew two things at exactly the same time.

She knew He knew her.

She knew He loved her.

And just when she thought she would collapse, He told her that He was her Father, and He wanted her to be His daughter. That she was made for more than just the life she knew, she was made to be loved by Him. He told her all this, and then stopped. He seemed to be waiting on her.

“Do you want to be my daughter?”, He asked.

“More than anything,” she heard herself say.

Something inside of her changed. She felt the dark ball of self-hatred dissolve in a second, and she felt life quicken in her abdomen, like she imagined a pregnant woman would feel. She felt somehow clean, and cleaned out.

And then He hugged her. He held her close like a good dad does with His beautiful daughter. He wasn’t trying to get something from her. He was giving Himself to her. He held her close and she felt tears fall on her cheek. They were not her tears, they were His. He stepped back and grinned at her. He spoke a few words to tell her that everything would be fine. That He would always be watching out for her, even if she didn’t see Him. Then He walked on down the street, disappearing into a crowd.

Two days later, she now walked down the street in front of the pastors house. The old shame was losing it’s grip, and as she passed by she heard a voice through the window.Not just a voice, she heard that Voice.

She looked in the window and saw Him. She had wondered if she would ever see Him again after that morning. A part of her had been trying to convince her that the encounter had been a dream, but she could not deny the difference on the inside of her. When she saw Him in the pastor’s house her heart leapt. He was surrounded by leaders from the church and they seemed to be asking Him questions.

Before she knew it, she was standing at the door knocking. The very house she once tried to sneak past, she now stood at the door, knocking and seeking entrance. Someone opened the door, and she asked if she could come and see the Teacher. As she walked into the room, she was vaguely aware of the scornful looks from the pastors, but she was overwhelmed when Jesus looked at her and grinned. She was welcome here.

Tears fell from her eyes. She could not control the rush of gratitude and love, and she collapsed at His feet. Her tears fell on His feet as she tried to find words to express her gratitude. She could find no words, so she just stayed on the floor and wept. She was grateful that she could rest in the fact that He knew what she meant.

He stroked her hair and gently turned to the hard and scornful looks of the men in the room. Their faces and postures spoke, no screamed, volumes regarding how they felt about her. She was unaware, because she was overwhelmed by how He felt about her.

“Simon,” He said, “I have something to tell you”

“Once their was a banker who loaned money, and one day he decided to forgive the debts of those who owed him. As he passed the news on to his debtors, he spoke to a man who owed him fifty dollars, and the man was grateful. He spoke to another man who owed him five hundred dollars. Having forgiven the debts of both men, which one do you think loved him more?”

She barely heard the story. She was so overcome with gratitude, she could not help but sit and love Him.

(Luke 7:36 - 50)

------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob Hamp

Bob is the father of four young adults, and has been married to Jackee since 1984.  His background as a professional counselor and pastor of Freedom Ministries has been the outgrowth of a relentless curiosity to discover how things work.  God saved him from a non-church background, allowing him to grow up minus much of the potential for rigid religious thought and language. He is the author of   "Think Differently, Live Differently" . Hobbies include music and trying to change the world.

**Posted with permission. (Thank you, Bob!)