I'm a Runner. Are You?

Just the other day...I was a teenager who knew the Lord, but I had fallen into rebellion. Instead of yielding to the spirit of the Lord gently warning me about the destructive path I was on, I chose to run. I ran from my youth minister. I "played" church for a while. I lied to my parents and others. I tried, very hard, to ignore God. Just as Jonah ran from the Lord's will and ended up in the belly of whale, I ran and ended up in a pit of my own. My sin, for a time, did make me happy...but in the end, just as the Bible warns, it brought destruction. I paid a high price.

Not too long ago, I realized I was running again. I was not choosing to blatantly sin as I had done as a teenager, but I was choosing to rebel against a calling I felt the Lord had placed on my life. You see, the last time the Lord used me in this calling, not even 30 minutes later, I was hit with a hardship that felt like a ripping open of my heart. I went, in seconds, from the emotional high of seeing the fruit of what the Lord had done, to utter discouragement and I am not being dramatic here...it was that black and white. In the midst of my tears, I made the statement, "If this is what I have to look forward to each time, I can't do it anymore."

With my words and more importantly, in my heart, I slammed the door shut.

Funny...it's easy to count the cost prior to having to pay up, but when service to God actually DOES bring about something hard...that's when you find out what you're made of, spiritually speaking.

It was a test. I failed miserably.

The cost was too great.

Until...

God sweetly came and helped me see what I had done...helped me remember what I had said...and most importantly, helped me to see the hypocrisy in my heart. On the one hand, I was praying to be used and on the other, I was refusing to allow myself to be used in the way He had chosen. I felt so ashamed.

In His kind and gentle way, God led me to repentance. I stopped running, threw up the white flag, and decided to get back in the game. I am fully aware that when I serve the Lord, there's a target on my back. But, I can face those arrows with courage, knowing He is with me and that ultimately, all the good He has in store will far outweigh any of the bad.

I will follow Him as He wills...because He is worth it! The gospel is worth it! People that need to be reached with the love of God...they are worth it!

My question to you today is...are you a bit like me?

Are you running? 

Just like the examples from my own life, I think you can either consciously run or "subconsciously" run. It doesn't matter which...in both instances, you are rebelling against God, essentially choosing your way and not His. When you rebel, it usually means that you are believing in a lie. Only God can show you what that lie is in your own life.

Below is a checklist...10 ways to know you are running. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will use it to reveal what's going on in your heart and if you're running, to oh-so-sweetly draw you back to Himself. The Father waits for you, with arms wide open!

1. You are neglecting the Word.

2. You are absent from church or only attend out of duty/tradition.

3. You do not pray, or if you do, it is very little and pretty careless.

4. You distract yourself with busyness (hobbies, volunteering, books, your family/friends, social media, etc.)

5. You brush off every nudge from the Holy Spirit.

6. You rationalize that you do not need God and that you are self-sufficient.

7. You avoid other Christians...especially those who know you've changed, fearing they might confront you.

8. You quickly change the subject or leave if God is mentioned in conversation.

9. You stop listening to Christian music or reading Christian literature.
10. You choose to sin, repeatedly, without much thought about the possible consequences.

"Father, I lift before You all of those who feel Your sweet conviction right now. It's a humbling experience to know that you've been running from the One who loves you most! I pray that You will draw close to each one and shower them with grace beyond measure. May each one be willing to fully surrender to you, determining in their hearts that instead of running away from you, they will run towards you, as the prodigal ran towards his father. Seal within each heart a new commitment of whole-hearted devotion. In the most precious name I know...the name of Jesus. Amen."

Linking up at:

Raising Homemakers

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home 
Missional Women  

For His glory,

Hide-and-Seek with God

Just the other day...I was sharing in the joy of praying with my three girls before bedtime. My baby girl, who is not really a baby anymore, but every bit of 3 years old, said she would lead us in the prayer (gotta love that!). So she started, "God, thank you for Mommy, and thank you for Daddy, and..." (her thank you's went on for a while). At the end of her prayer, she finished with this, "God, will you please come out?"

I quickly glanced over to my older girls who were grinning from ear to ear. All of us thought it was the cutest thing!! It was as if my 3 year old thought God was somewhere playing hide-and-seek and well, she was just ready for Him to come out and finally show Himself!

As I thought about it later on that night, I was moved by the very simple and yet profound faith of my sweet girl. Truly, the very essence of childlike faith. She has heard about the Lord, literally, since she was in the womb. I remember playing Kari Jobe songs through headphones placed on each side of my bulging belly and having her jump around to the music! She has been in church services listening to her daddy preach week after week, and in class after class telling her about the Lord. She hears about God from our whole family, all the time. If there's one thing she is sure of in her young life, it is that God exists, so naturally, she is just longing for the day when He will show Himself.

So am I!

The love of my life, the One who captured my heart at the tender age of eight, He is the One I long to see...the One I long to meet with face-to-face. So many times in my life, I have felt the same way, thinking, "Oh, my sweet, sweet Jesus...won't you just come so I can finally SEE you?"

I am as sure as my baby girl that my Lord does, indeed, exist. It is as if He is just beyond the curtain, waiting for that appointed time when He can step out, revealing Himself to us all.

Can't you see Him, hiding like any dad playing hide-and-seek...just out of sight, but waiting with anticipation for the big reveal? Oh, you know He is!! He longs to be found just as much as we long to find Him! In fact, He says it:

"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."

Jer 29:13

That's a promise from our not-yet-revealed Father. I know we all long to see Him face-to-face, yes, but the great thing is that if we're seeking Him, we are guaranteed to find Him even now! Will we find Him physically? Not yet...but He reveals Himself in so many other ways!

He's found in the kind words of a stranger when you are feeling down, in the sudden answer to a prayer only He knows about, in the Bible verse that you needed so desperately, in the friend who says just the right thing, through the sermon that feels like it's spoken directly to you, in the beauty of the world around you, and in the unexplained peace you find in the middle of a raging storm. In kindness after undeserved kindness He reveals Himself to us, even now...even while we wait with great anticipation for His glorious appearing!

Like my daughter, I'm going to keep praying, "God, will you please come out?" (Oh, I want to see Him!) I'm going to keep seeking, you can be sure of that! And while I'm seeking, I'll also keep my eyes wide open...choosing to be amazed at the multitude of ways He reveals Himself to me each day.

Won't you choose to keep your eyes wide open, too?

Seek Him and you'll find Him!!!

Linking up at:

The Better Mom
 What Joy is Mine
Raising Homemakers
Missional Women

For His glory,