The Miracle of Loneliness

I know, I know! I said I wasn't writing again until February something. But, I have to break my own rule.

I'm surrounded by chaos at the moment. To the right of me is a naked, unlit Christmas tree, weary from standing too long. To my left, a desk that shamefully shows my lack of dusting skills. In front of me there are boxes, a bare bookshelf, and a terribly empty wall.

And me...I'm sad.

This is harder than I expected...saying goodbye to friends who have become more like family...church members who have loved my kids like their own.

I have cried more tears than I can count since this year began...buckets, really.

You would never guess that a few years ago, I would have given just about anything to leave here. I share that in my testimony at other churches...how the loneliness here became so thick, I thought it would engulf me.

But God...

He said to stay, dwell in the land, and cultivate faithfulness (Psalm 37:3-5).

Basically, He was saying, "Bloom where you're planted, baby girl. Obey, and I'll work it all out."

So I did. And He did. Because He's faithful like that, you know?

And now, He's saying, "Obey", again, "It's time to move on", and we are. I know...I know...it's going to all work out just fine, for our good and His glory. I have hope and peace.

But somehow, I just wish I could skip this hurt that stings so much right now.

My only conclusion is that these tears represent God's amazing answer to those dreadfully lonely days I knew a few years back. Not only did He miraculously bring people to my side...He brought some of the most wonderful treasures of friendship that I could have ever hoped for!! He showed up.

He surrounded me with a family.

The Lord has changed me profoundly in their midst and each step I take into the future, I will hold them in my heart. Heart treasures. Forever.

In my sadness, I choose to rejoice in knowing that God turned around what the enemy meant for evil and He made it good. Indeed, He did.

Loneliness prepared my heart for new possibilities. Loneliness opened my eyes. Loneliness taught me greater dependence on the One.

My pain set me up for a great blessing.

And my tears right now?

Well, they're doing it, too.

For His glory,