Maturity equals many things, but in my life at this moment, I'd say it's when the fantasies of a little girl meet the stark realities of a grown woman. For so long, I've thought it was cute to hang on to the musings of the "little girl" in my heart. After all, she is fun, carefree, unassuming, naive, energetic, giddy, and yes, silly. Let me clarify that those are not all bad qualities. But, when that same little girl with those same characteristics assumes that fairy-tale endings are always true...well, then there's a problem! Now don't let me scare you into thinking that I am turning into a cynical old bitty (Lord forbid) but what I DO feel coming on is just a depth of realization that suddenly occurs when you have lived long enough to look back and know better. You KNOW what I'm talking about. I think it starts somewhere around day two of marriage when bodily noises you'd never heard before suddenly manifest themselves in your spouse! Then, it's night after sleepless night with a crying newborn that takes you to the brink of insanity, or so it seems. Then, add another kid or two in the mix and suddenly there's more laundry that ever imagined and at times, sheer chaos. For those out there like myself, it just takes some time to wake up to the fact that life "over here" is nothing like we thought it would be. Somehow from the outside looking in it all seemed so manageable and pretty. Well, with effort it IS manageable and sometimes yes, it is pretty...but not always.
So what is this little girl to do? Well, simply put, she grows up. She stares at the lies and the deception and suddenly realizes that truth was just waiting to be found and savored. You see, the truth my friend, really does set one free. Truth can be worked with. Truth can be understood. Truth can be ingested and digested until it becomes beauty in the form of wisdom. It's the wisdom that comes with age. The wisdom that comes with letting go of childhood fantasy. Then, it's wisdom that causes one to reach for the hand of God. It's wisdom that whispers, "You can't do this alone."
Thank God I am standing at the brink of my thirties and have some time left (I pray) to get this thing right. Thank God He is slapping me in the face with reality and truth these days. He is growing me up and growing me up fast. Why? I don't know and I don't have to know. What I do know is that it has more to do with His eternal purposes than it does with my own comfort and/or discomfort. It's ALL about Him...and wisdom is teaching me that moment-by-moment, day-by-day. To Him be the glory...laundry loads, crying babies, and all!!!