2/21/12

The Sweet Taste of Victory


Just the other day...I savored the sweet taste of victory. I can't explain in mere words the satisfaction it brought, the spiritual growth that occurred, and the way it deepened my friendship with the Lord. It was nothing short of amazing!


The sickness that overtook my house during the past two weeks brought me to the point of utter exhaustion. I would literally get up, do a few things, and sit down to rest...then get up, do a few things, and sit down to rest...over and over and over. Naps became a priority. Inevitably, the physical exhaustion I felt led to mental exhaustion. Everything about "me" was just plain tired!

Very soon, I was expected to appear before a group of ladies to share my heart and encourage them in their walk with the Lord...

and I was fully aware of that fact...

and so was someone else...

the enemy.

He pounced on the opportunity to attack. Self-doubt, my life-long weakness, crept in. Thoughts like these filled my mind: "Surely, my talk is irrelevant and will help no one. I am not qualified. It was just an accident that I was asked. They must have been really desperate. I should just back out, it won't be a big deal. It will probably be better for them to have someone else speak. What if I go and then say the wrong thing?!" This list could go on and on.

At one point, when I thought I could not take it anymore, I picked up the computer to send a private message to some friends who are very strong in the faith...friends that I knew would pray for me like nobody's business. Suddenly, I felt a very quiet but strong impression as God said, "Let's do this together."

Reaching out to others in prayer is not wrong. We need the prayers of others! All of us know that at times it is much-needed and absolutely necessary...but for me, at that moment, it would have been disobedience. It was not the right choice and here's why:

In the past when I have faced serious challenges and called in my "reinforcements", I have allowed myself to feel that in the end, it was mostly the prayers of others that carried me through whatever I was facing. And do you know what that feeling is tied to...the comparison trap that sometimes plagues me. Ugh. I end up thinking something like, "So and so was praying for me, and she is such a spiritual-giant. Phew, glad I asked her to pray! God really listens to her." If there was such a thing as a spiritual "Dunce Cap", this would be your cue to place it on my head!!

In obedience, I decided to follow God and TRULY believe that, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."...just He and I, me and Him, us...alone.

After that, things went from bad to worse...and I'll just leave it at that. Spiritually speaking, it felt like someone had strapped my frail body to the back of a racehorse, given it a swift kick, and told me to try to hold on for dear life. Yes, that bad.

By this time, I had already had those last conversations with the event leader and confirmed that I would indeed, be there to speak.

I could not back out. I had no choice. I had to fight.

I wrestled. I struggled. I bawled. I gushed tears. I quoted scripture. I got on my face before God, my ever-present help in times of need.
I went to battle.

And that next morning, as I stood before those ladies, I was giddy with God and probably way too over-the-top...because I knew that what the enemy meant for evil, the Lord had turned around for good and that somebody who really needed to hear the message was indeed going to hear it!

It was not a baby who stood before them; it was a soldier who had just clawed her way out of the trenches. I stood, having fully relied on a Power far greater than my imagination can fathom, and the victory was His...

and in a small way, the victory was mine.

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"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."


For His glory,   
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