11/30/11

Give Me The "Not So Pretty"


Just the other day...I went to visit a friend. By the time I left her, my heart felt like it had been torn into a million pieces. You see, she is going through a divorce and absolutely nothing about it is pretty. Her grief...her pain...her burdens...her tears...all of it shook me up, and rightly so. Divorce is ugly.

The way some Christians have treated my friend is equally as ugly. At times, she has been made to feel as if she is wearing "the scarlet letter", or like she has some sort of disease. It makes me ashamed and sad that we aren't doing a better job of truly LOVING each other as Christ says that we should. What is it He said in John 13:35? By your LOVE they will know you are my disciples?

This whole situation has made me do a lot of thinking...thinking about the people Jesus associated with and hung around. Sometimes as Christians, we think that we are being "righteous" or "holy" by only surrounding ourselves with what LOOKS GOOD and proper on the outside. We enjoy the appearance of perfection and cleanliness. Weren't there some people in the Bible like that also? Remember the ones that Jesus called "white-washed tombs"? (See Matt 23:27-28)

It's time we take a long hard look at ourselves and if that's our attitude, we need to hit our knees!!! Who are we not reaching with the gospel by trying to keep up our appearances? Jesus says it best when He tells us that it is easy to love someone who loves you back...anybody can do that! He calls us to the higher standard of loving our enemies...loving those whose lives are not sanitized...loving our brothers and sisters whose lives are not so pretty.

These are hard times and life is getting messy for lots of people. People who once had it 'all together' are losing their jobs. Families are falling apart under added pressures. Addictions are sky-rocketing as people try desperately to fill the void in their lives.  And let me ask you this, if they dare enter our churches to "try Jesus" in the midst of their pain...are we ready???

Can we truly show them Jesus by loving them right where they are at...in the midst of their mess and dirt and pain? Remember, sin has touched all of us...our own lives at one time carried the pungent stench of darkness and shame...until someone pointed us to Jesus. We're clean only because of Him. For us to take that gift and hold it up as some kind of trophy making us better than another person...well, it makes us exactly what Christ called the "blind Pharisees" in the Bible...

a hypocrite.

I pray that my church would be filled to the brim with people whose lives are messy and out-of-control and in desperate need of a Savior. I long for the chance to extend to them the grace that I have been given. I pray for the opportunity to show them the kind of love that only comes from Christ. And it's my heart's desire to be surrounded by an army of Christians who feel exactly the same way.

I'm just so ready to see the church...
be the church. 

Aren't you?


It's time to quit playing games with our Christianity.

It's time to stop doing the kind of stuff that brings shame to the name of Christ.

It's time to kill the pride that makes us think we are something, when truth be told, without Him we are mere nothings.

It's time to take up our crosses, get down in the trenches, and love people to Jesus...

no matter what it takes.
__________

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." 
Romans 12:10 



*Linking up at
Raising Homemakers 
Women Living Well 
Internet Cafe Devotions
Seeds of Faith 



For His glory,

11/23/11

Questioning Why


Just the other day...I wrestled with "why". I know we all wrestle with "why" at times, but for me, I guess it was the most real I had ever let myself become in the struggle. Does that make any sense? What I mean is, for once, I didn't try to "hide" my struggle from God. I didn't try to tell God something He already knew I was only saying to try to "appease" Him. In the past, I would politely say, "Lord, I don't know why, but You do, so it's okay." Nope...not this time. I was so truthful with Him. The hurt went deeper this time and my questioning was more like, "Lord, I know You are good, so how in the world could such a tragedy happen?! You do not make sense." Yep...I was that truthful with Him. He handles truthfulness very well.

I'd like to report that He sent a lightening bolt down from heaven and inscribed the answer to me on rocks in my front yard, but we both know that would be outrageous:) I'd also like to report that my struggle only lasted a few hours. It was more like a few months. During that time, I questioned and I doubted. I wavered between the truth and the lie. It got so bad that I admitted my struggle to my husband (even as my pride told me to act like "super-Christian" and stuff it). He tenderly held me as I cried, and then cried some more. It had been a very long time since I had struggled with such doubt.

Do you remember the feeling you had when you figured out that Santa was not real? Do you remember the let down?

That is what I felt like I was teetering on...not questioning God's existence, but questioning God's goodness...and I was so scared I was going to be slapped in the face with a new reality. My heart told me the truth, but my head wanted a concrete answer for why God allows some of the things He does.

I never found one.

Do you know what I did find?

Grace...and a new word called, eucharisteo.

God, my kind and patient Father, led me to read a book by a woman who had traveled down this same path and shared my same struggle. Upon picking up the book, I had no clue what it was about, so realizing the subject matter placed me in awe of the Lord once again, for He is the God of the details, you know. From page one, I knew this book was an answer to my cry for help.

The name of the book is "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. It is now a best seller, I believe, so you've probably heard of it and hopefully, you have already read it. If you haven't, I implore you to pick up a copy as soon as you can. There are no words to explain how beautiful Ann writes. It's almost like reading a poem by one of the greats. But beyond all of that, she explains "eucharisteo" and shows how Jesus, by His example at the Last Supper, taught us how to transfigure all things by giving thanks.

It is in learning to give thanks that my own life has been transfigured. I find it ironic that pain and struggle ultimately led to this transformation. Many times, what we fear the most is really what we need the most! 


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In Ann's book, she keeps a list of things for which she is thankful. I started a list as well. Here is just a sampling of the many that I have listed:
  • quiet moments when little ones are sleeping peacefully in their beds 
  • people that are still searching out God, just like me
  • creaking swings on sunny afternoons
  • finding safety in the arms of the One who will never let me go
  • nice police men who give me grace
  • love that grows deeper as time goes on
  • girly giggles
  • a best friend who "gets me"
  • getting to point out His way and His gifts to my children
  • dairy cows on green hills
  • soft puppy fur on my feet
  • long conversations with my husband
  • the way home feels after a long trip
  • missionaries who boldly proclaim the gospel in the midst of terror
  • finding freedom, like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon
  • friends who let me know that they care
  • healing
  • a surprise visit from my brother
  • realizing how thankfulness opens one's eyes

This Thanksgiving, may you truly realize that your blessings abound...and may you humbly bow in thanks to the Giver of them all!!!



For His glory,

11/14/11

Unexpected Adventures



Today, I had a fun outing planned for the girls. We are in a large city at the moment since "the king" (of our little castle) had to travel for some meetings. Right down the road from our hotel, there is a museum just for children...ya know, the kind with lots of hands-on activities and really cool exhibits for kids to explore. I had shown the kids pictures of the museum on the internet, talked about it all morning, told them how much fun it was going to be, and gotten them really excited. Being the well-intentioned-but-often-scatterbrained mom that I am, I did not notice one very important fact.

The museum is closed on Mondays.

There were plenty of cars in the parking lot. We unloaded and went straight inside, however we were greeted by a kind young lady telling us they were only open for a photo shoot. Great.

I know all of our faces must have screamed "disappointment" by the way she kept spouting off, "I'm so sorry." I was thinking, "You're sorry?! What about me? My poor kids." I hate letting them down.

Stick with me cause it's about to get really good....

As we walked out, I noticed the humongous state museum across the parking lot. Hmmmm. What if we went there? At this point, it was my only hope. After apologizing to the girls, I started telling them MAYBE we could go to the big museum if it didn't cost too much. I said, "Why don't we just go over and check it out?" They very reluctantly agreed.

As we were walking up, I noticed a ton of steps that I certainly could not drag the stroller up, so I asked a young couple coming down them about the museum and the prices. They were very sweet to tell us all we needed to know, except they weren't quite sure about the price of admission. I thanked them and then the girls and I proceeded to find some kind of ramp so that I could push the stroller up to the building.

On our way up the ramp, I kept talking about our day and began telling the girls, "You know, God just might have another adventure in store for us today. In the Bible, we are told that a Christian's steps are ordered by the Lord...so we'll just have to see what He brings." As we finished that conversation we were just getting ready to enter the building when the young man I had spoken to on the steps reached us. He was out of breath from running, but proceeded to hand us four tickets to get into the museum FOR FREE. He said, "I don't know if you'll need all four tickets since you have the baby, but take it too, just in case." We were amazed at such generosity!!! We thanked him profusely as he ran back out the door and yelled "God bless you" after him.

My oldest looked at me with her eyes as big as saucers and said, "Mommy, you were just saying to wait and see what God would do and then that man gave us tickets to get in free!" My heart nearly burst open with joy!

ISN'T GOD GOOD?!

I just love that He cares about all the little details of our lives. Don't you?!?!  The fact that He provided my girls with such a great object lesson thrills me to no end! I expect Him, my Father, to take care of me and I long for my children to grow up expecting nothing less. It's true...as His children, we can and should take Him at His word!

Well, needless to say, we ended up having the most wonderful time in the "big" museum, which really was massive and way more than we could see in one trip. What made it even more exciting was the fact that in nearly every room, we saw things that we had studied in homeschool either this year or last year. Wow, it just brought all that learning "home", especially for my oldest daughter.  What a tremendous blessing!!!

Now, can I just brag on God one more time?

As we were going out the door, I asked one of the workers about a good place to eat but she said she didn't live in the area. Another woman overheard me, stopped me going out the door, and told me just to follow her...she would take me to a wonderful place that the kids and I could eat at, right up the road. She literally sat in her car and waited on us to walk all the way to our car that was still in the other parking lot (at the first museum), then she patiently led us to the restaurant, weaving in and out of five o'clock traffic. Amazing.

When I talk about being a daughter of God, I mean it. See, what my Father knows about me is this: I get apprehensive in unfamiliar places and getting out today with my kids was a pretty big deal. I didn't tell anyone that. I didn't say to my kids, "This makes mommy so nervous." I prayed. I trusted. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and got us out the door because I'm sick of fear. Fear, as a daughter, as a child of the Almighty, should have NO PLACE in my life...

and I've let it have a "place" for

way

too

long.

____________


*Linking up at Joy in this Journey, Raising Homemakers, and Beholding Glory


For His glory,  

11/9/11

Princess #3 and a Panic Attack


Today, on Princess #3's second birthday, I was reminded of a blog post I wrote a while back and never shared...honestly...out of pride. I didn't want to be seen as weak. If you listened to the recent radio show I was on, you'll recall that I said something like, "I don't get much out of a relationship when people aren't real. When we open up and get really honest, then we can encourage and inspire each other." It was something like that. Anyways, I stepped on my own toes with that one! So, here it is...my story of weakness exposed in hopes the Lord can use it to help one of you!
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Just the other day, I was as still as I could be as my upper chest passed through the open tube of the massive machine. Alone, in that cold room, with my heart racing and unexplained pressure in my chest, I quoted scripture one after the other after the other. I prayed desperately that this wasn’t “it” for me. The ER doctor had ordered the CAT scan about an hour earlier, after blood had been drawn and other tests performed. My precious husband and mother were waiting back in the examining room, their own emotions running wild as they tried in vain to quiet my very hungry 5-day-old baby girl.

Fear had enveloped me months before as a doctor coaxed me into voluntary house arrest due to the H1N1 virus spreading through our community. “Pregnant women are dying from this flu and we don’t know why” he had said. Then, as time inched closer to my third c-section, all I could think of was the last c-section when my epidural had not worked. What if it didn’t work this time? What if they had to put me to sleep again? Last time, I was blissfully unaware of the risks. This time, I knew them all too well.

Thankfully, our baby girl entered this world on a blustery-cold November morning, beautiful and healthy as can be! During my c-section, the epidural had not worked, but thankfully the “spinal” did. Our little princess was precious from the start, but also about as cranky as they come! So, after arriving home, more fearful thoughts began, “How in the world am I going to handle a baby that cries constantly along with two other young children at home?” I tried to push those thoughts out of my head and told myself the continual crying was temporary. Surely things would be better by the time my parents went back home (they had come to help out for a little over week).

On top of all of my apprehension, while trying to heal, some nasty complications developed from the surgery…things I hadn’t experienced after my previous c-sections. I had noticed pressure developing in my chest, but with so much going on, I brushed it off. Then, a few heart palpitations started and I began to take notice a little more. Within hours, I was getting short of breath, so I finally called my doctor. “Get to the ER!” she said…along with something about the possibility of blood clots.

I had tried for weeks to get a handle on the fear growing within me. I even called on friends to pray for me. Still, the comforting peace that I was accustomed to could not be found, and that was confusing! I was tempted to take it as God’s answer that this was “it” and soon I’d be seeing Him face-to-face! Looking back, that thought seems so ridiculous, but I can assure you at the time, fear caused me to waver.


Ultimately, after over four hours in the ER, it was determined that I had just suffered my first, and prayerfully, my last, panic attack. It was not a fun experience to say the least. I struggled with what to do with the news. I wish I could say that all of my feelings of anxiety vanished immediately, but unfortunately they didn’t. For weeks after that, I would begin to feel the pressure in my chest and then cry out to the Lord for help. Thankfully, I never had another attack. I feel certain that my raging pregnancy hormones had a lot to do with it. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.


So why didn't peace come immediately for me? I can't tell you. Sometimes answers come easily, sometimes they don't. I do believe that it was some sort of a test for me. It’s like God was saying, “You know I love you, baby girl, but this time I want you to stand on your own spiritual two feet and fight. You may not feel me, but you KNOW I’m with you. I’ve told you in my Word and proven it to you over and over again. Trust me.”

I felt like fear was like a blanket of darkness covering me and trying to smother me. I may have stumbled around in the darkness a bit, but Praise Him, I did not fall! The unseen hand of my Father was grasping mine the entire time. His Word says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Also, Psalm 37:23-24 says, "If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand."

I know that many times the Lord does indeed comfort and guide by His peace. However, there are times when, for whatever reason, that "feeling" doesn’t come. Are we to be led by our feelings? Absolutely not! He’s still “got” us even when we don’t feel like He’s anywhere around! The Word says, “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” (Psalm 139:7-10) 

The Lord also speaks of those who are His in John 10:29 when He says, "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand." Did you read that?! We are His and He ALWAYS takes care of His children. He is ALWAYS with us, whether we “feel” Him or not. When He seems to hide, we are to stand firm in what we KNOW. It’s at those times more than ever that we must stand firm on the promises of His Word!

One of my all-time favorite quotes is from a powerful woman of God named Corrie Ten Boom:

“Faith is believing in the dark what God spoke to you in the light.”

Exactly.

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*Linking up at Raising Homemakers, Women Living WellJoy in this Journey, and A Pause on the Path

For His glory,

11/3/11

What? You're Going On A Radio Show?!



Guess what?!?! I have been asked to talk with Stacey at "I'm a Lazy Mom" on her radio show tomorrow, Nov 4th, at 2pm(EST)! Isn't that exciting?!!! I am so honored and humbled to have this opportunity. I hope you will tune in and listen. Lord willing, you will be able to understand my amazingly Southern accent!

We will be talking about my most recent and now, most popular, blog post..."HELP! I'm Overwhelmed!" Please pray for me, that God will use my words to help, encourage, and inspire many women (and even the few men who Stacey told me are regular listeners...isn't that awesome?).

Stacey is wonderful! I talked with her for the first time today and felt like we had been friends forever. Don't ya just love those kind of people?! You're gonna love her!!!

For instructions on listening to the broadcast online, CLICK HERE.