10/27/11

HELP! I'm Overwhelmed!


Just the other day, I sat across the table from my dear friend, telling her “I’m overwhelmed and I don’t even know why.” Honestly, I just couldn’t put my finger on anything exactly. In my mind, I should be doing just fine…but in reality, I knew that was not the case. Well, you know after you talk about something, it’s in the forefront of your mind, so I just kept thinking about it as I drove my little kiddos to the library, praying that God would help me deal with all of my anxiety. And, do you know what I realized in a God-given “aha” moment?! I realized this: I need to majorly scale back on reading other blogs because they have given me unrealistic expectations for my own life. 

The blogosphere is made up of all kinds of unique and wonderful people…many of whom I enjoy tremendously. However, it is rare to find those who truly open up about their lives. Most people paint a rosy picture, display amazing photos, and come across as all-together perfect. And then when said “all-together perfect people” say you need to do as they do and follow rules A, B, C, and D in order to:
  •  Have your husband adore you and be pleased with you
  • Have the perfect marriage
  •  Have properly behaved, well-rounded, smart children
  • Have a meticulous home that runs like a well-oiled machine
  • Have the most gracious and hospitable home in the neighborhood
  •  Have décor like Martha Stewart and cook like Paula Deen

Um…IT  GETS OVERWHELMING AND QUITE FRANKLY, I CAN’T DO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew. Excuse me…I needed to just get that out:)

Seriously, I KNOW that’s not the intent of most bloggers, but really, if you click on a lot of them, the message that comes across is just another “YOU SHOULD”. And you know what God showed me that day…

He never put any of that on me.

I was putting it on myself and then feeling “less than” because I couldn’t keep up with ALL OF THE STANDARDS I took from other people. 

God brings true peace into a life and into a home…nothing else can. And He says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He never puts anything on us that is overwhelming to the point of causing the kind of anxiety I was experiencing. That stuff I was clinging to was not of Him! 

In this case, I was reading too many blogs, but at other times, I have left conversations with other people feeling like I had to DO WHAT THEY WERE DOING in order to “do better, be better, feel better”. This trap can happen through watching too many home remodeling shows, or reading too many magazines/self-help books, or even by reading a status update on a social media site where another woman declares, “I’ve done 10 loads of laundry today, baked fresh bread, exercised for an hour, cleaned out the car, homeschooled all five children, and made plans for a romantic dinner with my spouse this evening.” (Usually when I read such things, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet that day and end up feeling lower than low.)

I asked a few of my friends to send me some examples of what causes them to be overwhelmed. Here’s just a glimpse of what I got back:

"I feel most overwhelmed when I have too much on my plate and try to be super child of God, super wife, super mom, super daughter, and super friend."

"I don't feel like I'm ever enough - my house isn't pretty enough, clean enough, up-to-date enough. I don't feel like I'm enough as a person, either."

"It's overwhelming to me to try to do everything that I 'think' I 'should' be doing and feeling I get it all wrong... ALL the time. I feel overwhelmed with the idea of how hard marriage is, how much work it takes on a constant basis. I feel overwhelmed with trying to be the Godly wife that I'm 'supposed' to be and the reality of the selfish wife that I truly am. I get overwhelmed when I look at other women's marriages who seem to have it all together and a 'perfect' marriage, and wonder why mine doesn't look like that all the time?"

"I get overwhelmed when I think of all the typical 'wife' things that need to be done and I'm just so dadgum tired (and busy) to keep up (you know... laundry... dishes... chores... grocery shopping... meal prep... etc... etc... etc...)"

"I would say one of the biggest things that makes me most overwhelmed is when I start thinking of how big of an impact my every single action and word is having a HUGE impact on the future lives of my children. I get overwhelmed at the thought that I am investing in the future generations of my family."

Heavy stuff, huh?!

In examining my own feelings as well as those of my friends, I realized that…one, it is sad how extremely hard we are on ourselves, and…two, whether we realize it or not, we use other people’s lives as our measuring stick! But, who really has a perfect marriage? Who really keeps a perfect house? Who really has perfect kids? Who really cooks like Paula Deen and decorates like Martha Stewart? More importantly, WHO is it that makes us think that everyone else does and then beats us down with guilt when we realize that we don’t???  It’s not God, I can tell you that.

Let me close with a story that I feel will help:

I was a new mom. My baby girl was maybe four weeks old at the time. In preparation for becoming a mother, I had read book after book after book about my new job and this one particular day, I was working diligently on getting my baby girl on a schedule. Wouldn’t you know it, she just didn’t want to cooperate with my plan! Actually, she had not cooperated in a few days and finally, I was at my wits end. So I did what all new mommies do in a pinch…I called my own mom. The baby was crying…I was crying…and I remember telling my mom, “I am doing everything the book says to do and it’s just not working!” My precious and amazingly-wise mother calmly said, “Becky, God has given you all you need as a mother. You throw that book out the window and listen to how HE is telling you to take care of your baby. You’ll know what to do.” Seriously, that’s the best advice on mothering I have ever received!!! And my mom was right on target. As soon as she said it, I knew that’s what I needed to do and it was like she gave me validation to trust what I was hearing from the Lord.

So ladies, here is your validation...

God has given us all that we need as a wife, mom, woman, friend, etc. As a Christian, we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. Don’t take that lightly!!! HE WANTS TO BE THE ONE TO SHOW US the path of peace in our individual lives! We need to pay less attention to each others standards of who we should or should not be and more attention to what HE expects…in our homes…in our marriages…in our relationships with our kids…in every detail of our lives. Our Father wants to show us the best wayHis way! Taking the time to listen to that still small voice He gives all of us will work, every time.  
  
Yes, I believe God uses others as iron sharpens iron in our lives. It’s great to be surrounded by others who challenge us. But when we use their standards as our judge, we have set them up as an idol in our lives…period. As a Christian, you and I must seek less to please an audience of many and more to please an audience of ONE…the only One who can bring order and peace into our lives.

This verse out of "The Message" speaks volumes:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

May we all walk closely with you, Lord. Teach us the unforced rhythms of Your amazing grace! May we walk in Your freedom...learning daily to live freely and lightly...trusting in Your voice above every other!
_______

10/17/11

Stitched with Great Love


Just the other day...I finally did it. I got out all the little baby clothes I had tucked away and started cutting them up...sweet little nightgowns and cute little play outfits that once held my tiny bundles of joy. It was bittersweet as I fought back tears and I rejoiced all at the same time...sad over the moments now gone, but proud about the precious trio of girls that continually bless my days.

At one point, I actually held a few pieces close to my face, trying desperately to get one last whiff of baby smell. It wasn't there. And I found myself longing, oh just once more to breathe in that sweet-baby-aroma. To a mother, such a smell is intoxicating.

Life is strange and confusing and wonderful all at the same time. Once I was a sleep-deprived, desperately-tired mommy, wishing for the time that my house would finally sleep again...all of us from night until morning. And now, I sometimes long to get up during the quiet midnight hours to nurse and rock and soothe my baby, holding her close to my heart. I know that for me, those days are over...sweet memories now etched upon my heart forever...and it came all too soon.

I will cherish those memories and think of those days and try desperately to pour that love into something tangible for each daughter...a quilt. It won't be perfect...in fact, its imperfections will readily show (a reflection of the seamstress herself). But when nights are cold and times are dark, Lord willing, it will be there to comfort and warm and convey unending admiration...whispering about a love so deep it began as a prayer in a young woman's heart.

The label will read:

Handmade
with love
 from Mama

...and it will surely be the truth!

I've heard it said that our children are gifts that we send out into the future. I just happen to believe that a quilt stitched with great love can be that, too.

*Linking up at Micellany Monday
and Raising Homemakers 


For His glory,

10/14/11

My Interest in Pinterest

Just the other day...I said I was NOT going to join Pinterest. Yes, that was my intention at the time. I fully intended to stick by it! Then, Facebook made changes that I didn't like too much and, for lack of a better term, I kinda "fell out of love" with it. More importantly, I needed some decorating ideas for our ladies event at church...so I took the plunge. I joined Pinterest.

It was love at first sight.

Pinterest is a website that lets you "pin" things all over the internet that interest you. You can catagorize your pins and post them on virtual "pin boards". Not only can you see your boards, but others can as well. You can choose to "follow" other people's boards and they can also choose to "follow" you. It is a genius way to share ideas!!!

Because of ideas I have found on Pinterest, I have already done these things (& I haven't been a member long):


  • I have made a door wreath more beautiful with ribbon....hated it before, love it now! 
  • I have gathered ideas for a pinwheel broach. My amazing friend made them for the leadership/greeters at our women's event. They were beautiful and so simple!
  • I have made more fall crafts with my girls. They LOVE crafting together and so do I!
  • I have found some amazing recipes! A new one is going to be in my crockpot in moments:)
  • I have found some very clever tips on organization. I haven't put any to use just yet but I have plans, believe me!


I encourage you, if you haven't already, to join Pinterest (and follow me, please)! I can almost guarantee that you'll love it! There's a red Pinterest button in the right side-bar of this blog that will take you to my board. You can also go to www.pinterest.com and ask to join...or simply send me your email address (click on "contact" at the top of the page) and I will send you an invitation to join. Happy pinning everyone!!!

For His glory,